four.eleven.

In a fictional television series called “Mad Men,” a character whose name is Don Draper says to a co-worker, “If you don’t like what’s being said, change the conversation.” (If you don’t know who the Don Draper is, I suggest you find out. Strike one.)

The conversation that Don refers to is that of ad pitches and company strategy. Don finds different ways around the tactical tendencies of each of his clients, only to be shut down at first. Heroically, he seems to find a way to rise from the ashes and create the perfect pitch. This is an art. Don has mastered his job and everything involved therein. He knows what needs to be said, how it needs to be said, and when it needs to be said. He’s invincible, intimidating, and powerful. Yet, he’s the most in control out of control person. Albeit, he is a fictional character, the idea of him is much larger than what is portrayed during a 48 minute television show.

I live in a city where men seem to have lost their identity. Up until recently, I never really paid much attention or cared for the matter. The culture of this city has declared me “old” (I still don’t understand what that even means,) which is the sole reason why I began to critique my fellow comrades in action. It’s appalling and absurd. Since when did Vans and a RVCA t-shirt impress anyone? Literally, anyone?

Gentlemen. Let’s change.

I consider myself to be a well-rounded man. There are certain aspects of my life which I take seriously because I’m just that… a man. I say that with confidence but also am fully aware of my own immature tendencies and characteristics. With that being said, the way I think isn’t the way all men should think. Well… yes it is. But I know there will be those out there who read this and say, “Who is this guy and why the hell does he care?” With regards to their doubts, I simply wish to dissect a certain situation which I experienced with a friend of mine at a local taquiera. Needless to say, I was disgusted. Enough to the point where I felt I needed to express my personal yet insignificant feelings about it. My intentions are not intended to degrade any actions of those who clearly haven’t caught up yet. I simply wish to demonstrate my frustration in that which I consider a special part of who I am. Being a man.

Typically, my friend and I try to avoid anywhere where we’re going to see people we don’t want to see. He’s a well-known person and it seems like regardless of where we go, he always see someone he knows. I’ll never understand it. On a normal Saturday afternoon, we decided to go to Lonestar. One of the better “Mexican” dives here in the city. (If you’ve never heard of it, that’s strike two.) We entered the small, yet significant building and as always it was full of people. We decide on a table back towards a corner near where people get their soda. The most disgusting part of the whole restaurant. Sometimes we make bad decisions.

As I begin to eat, I noticed the face of a beautiful woman. She had incredibly piercing eyes and a magnetic complexion. She was dressed in a modern yellow blouse with designer jeans. This look isn’t necessarily my favorite but it seems to be a common theme among women. She seemed eloquent and classy. The type of woman who maybe you could take home to your mother.

When we see a woman like this, the first thing we do is look at who she’s with. Obviously, we’re going to analyze and predict the outcome of the evening. Then, we justify why we think this woman should go home with us. The majority of the time we are wrong. All of our justifications either come from the influence of alcohol or from the notion that we’re lonely. Be honest, we’ve all been. We begin to think we’re not as good as we think we are. Maybe we don’t deserve the woman we stare at in the restaurant. She’s attractive, intelligent, witty, and automatically she’s looking for someone who isn’t you. It’s just a fact, it’s not even science.

In my skewed justification, I fell into the realm of uncertainty and insecurity. I don’t do this often; however in my state of mind I needed something to be upset about. The first thing I noticed about the gentleman was his shoes. This is a common practice among those who value fashion. You can tell a lot of about someone by their shoes. From this obvious piece of evidence, he wasn’t in attendance when they went over this in middle school. You remember those Teva sandals that were big in the 90’s? You know, the Jesus, rubbery looking sandals? The one’s nature lovers where… Everywhere? Yup. Those.

Shaking my head and quietly whispering words of profanity to myself, I looked up at his attire. Cargo shorts and a Coca Cola t-shirt. I would like to assume that men would try to attempt to impress the women they take on dates. I felt like he was going to get a burritos to go, grab some Natty Light (yeah, I capitalized that), and head to play some Frisbee golf. I was sympathetic for the woman. She had prepared herself well and gave some effort towards impressing her date. I won’t even begin to express my real feeling concerning the lack of better judgment I saw from this person but it’s the perfect transition to what I really want to talk about in this thing. (I still don’t know what to call it. I refuse to use the “blog word.”)

There is an extreme epidemic of morality and self-value in this country. We see something in main stream media every day concerning the equality of all individuals. We also see a countersuit to their expression by traditionalists involved with re-inventing by calling themselves traditionalists. Or whatever. I steer clear of “ist” people but I do believe in some core values that have been established by men from generations before. Yes, some of them may be fictional but as I said before, they stand for much of what I believe.

Men. Let’s grow up. Let’s get educated. Let’s learn things. Let’s learn how to dress. Let’s learn how to speak. Let’s learn how to create substance.

Women care about these things. Women. Not little girls. Women. Those who we ought to be seeking after for companionship. Yes, I said that. Don’t pretend to not want a wife. We all know that deep down inside we have that desire. Ironically, women want the same thing. The problem is that we are not demonstrating value to them. We seem to hear more stories about someone cheating on their significant other verses hearing about how loyal and trustworthy they are. We can’t control the actions of those people we are involved with but we can control our own. Let’s not be so predictable.

In my honest opinion, we have lost ourselves as men. Especially with those who were born in my generation. The tendencies and characteristics which were once considered masculine have now trickled down to dust. We have become secondary and have lost our sense of being. When did we forget that it takes a small amount of effort to impress a woman? (Strike three) I say this with caution because personally, I feel that I do present myself in such manner when needed. However, I do agree with the phrase, “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” Regardless, we’re funneling downwards out of control.

Frankly, I feel that we place way too much blame on women for much of what happens. Granted, there are many who set out for personal gain and pleasure. Again, there is not much we can do to control the outcome of those situations. We ought to be grateful we’re not one of those people.

We should gain value to that which we are and attempt to maximize our surroundings. We should strive to become someone we never thought we could become. With that being said, we may never reach those expectations but excellence is produced through preservation. We all completely understand the idea that we never do things right the first time but that should never discourage us from putting forth effort. Often times, it’s almost endearing for women to see that.
There are going to be people who read this that will not understand my logic. There will be people who read this who will be offended. There will be people who read this who simply do not have an opinion about what I think or what I have to say. It was never my attention to confuse, offend, or bore anyone with these thoughts. It was simply a self-expressive way of sharing what I see. I do believe there are great men in this world. I respect those individuals who create profound perceptions concerning that of their peers. I also respect those who frankly don’t care.
Cheers to both of you. But for those gentlemen who live for moments and substance.
Let’s change.

“I believe that all roads lead to the same place — and that is wherever all roads lead to.”

There are often moments in which we decide to define ourselves as individuals. Every individual creates characteristics that allow them to accomplish certain tasks. We subconsciously seek the personal approval of what we decide. I believe this to be a life long endeavor, which requires a sense of confidence that many of us lack. Fear often propels action. Whether that be for better or for worse, it allows us to feel motivated to be or do something. I can relate many times in my own existence where I found myself afraid. Scared of what was in front of me of or frightened by what outcome may be. I look back with apathy but what is to be learned from these experiences?

I regularly find myself pondering these decisions and asking that question. What have I learned about myself? Which direction did this decision take me? Was it positive or negative?

Contrary to popular belief, I don’t “regret” certain decisions that may have been detrimental to my life. I keep the perspective of seeing value and knowledge in all that may occur. We all have eyes but our vision varies from individual to individual. We will process information differently and we will also apply that knowledge in different ways. My point in this is that we should not allow fear to control the outcome of our decisions. There are too many opportunities and chances that arise in our path that we fear. These vary from occupation change, culture change, or even relationship change. Our fear will impede us from making these decisions to change. The older generation is scared of change and their influence can often play a part in our decision-making. As a part of the younger generation, I want to push the notion that we be a people of change. Life can be cut short and that is something we cannot control but if we harness the opportunities that are placed in our path, we have the ability to make a difference. Most importantly, we will have the ability to be ourselves and be happy.

Take a chance… say yes… find ways to be yourself… and be happy.

“Courage is grace under pressure.” Ernest Hemingway

four.eleven.

Thoughts on a Sunday

Thoughts on a Sunday

Rule your mind

The Way I See You

Opportunity